bleeding teeth
gnashing at tomorrow's hopeful heels
she smells the taste before seeing the drip
the long hallway darkens
a shadow grows erect in anticipation
she hears the scraping corduroy before smelling the taste
phone rings surround sound
a glance around reveals loneliness
she feels eyes prying before she hears the scraping
his laughter cracked as ground faults
swallowing her sense of safety
she knows he is there before feeling his eyes
a marathon of reliving childhood
self-defense and suburban rape
she pulls the knife from her purse before he sees her grin
shocked by table turned upside down
never will she be a victim again
he feels his bleeding teeth before he can taste it
her heartbeat quiets lullaby
a siren fast approaches
he knows his fate before she ID's him... The smell of prison sex looming
she sleeps in deep respite
gasping only occasionally for air
never to suffocate again...
Green Star,
I really like the peice. It's hard-hitting and fast paced, the way the subject matter demands.
I would suggest (solely for my reading enjoyment) changing the verbs of the second line of both the second and third stanzas from the present-passive form to present-active {i.e. grows into growing and glance into glancing [the second (that being the third stanza) would necessitate the removal of the article]} to gain a continuity of pace throughout.
I like (for once in my life) the lack of punctuation, with the two ellipses, (yes, I'm ignoring the apostrophes and hyphen) coming near and at the end, slowing the peice and giving promise of the future.
Good to see you back on board.